Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
