dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
