They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
