As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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