There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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