i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
