I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
