hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize