I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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