Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
