Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize