K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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