Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
