Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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