if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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