i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You need a sexual gate keeper
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
