i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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