Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
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I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
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The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.