I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already