Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(216): View more from Ohio

My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes

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(216): My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes http://tfl.nu/wpjq

Replies (8) Good night (1524) Bad night (751)
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(239): View more from Florida

I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..

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(239): I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high.. http://tfl.nu/0y5k

Replies (19) Good night (5119) Bad night (1141)
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(317): View more from Indiana

Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.

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(317): Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat. http://tfl.nu/3hve

Replies (11) Good night (2604) Bad night (835)
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(416): View more from Toronto

thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks

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(416): thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks http://tfl.nu/k1ka

Replies (4) Good night (1108) Bad night (2034)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.

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(215): He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule. http://tfl.nu/c0gm

Replies (11) Good night (3103) Bad night (1355)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.

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(+44): Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism. http://tfl.nu/zz0f

Replies (14) Good night (4410) Bad night (958)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.

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(843): I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form. http://tfl.nu/qfth

Replies (5) Good night (2125) Bad night (791)
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(810): View more from Michigan

You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults

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(810): You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults http://tfl.nu/ltaq

Replies (3) Good night (1255) Bad night (532)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.

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(202): In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American. http://tfl.nu/gnds

Replies (14) Good night (3354) Bad night (583)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.

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(303): I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already. http://tfl.nu/emym

Replies (6) Good night (1070) Bad night (449)
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(563): View more from Iowa

i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.

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(563): i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look. http://tfl.nu/aj1z

Replies (9) Good night (701) Bad night (961)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3

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(505): Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3 http://tfl.nu/ef92

Replies (5) Good night (702) Bad night (979)
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(573): View more from Missouri

I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.

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(573): I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso. http://tfl.nu/7zvg

Replies (2) Good night (776) Bad night (484)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.

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(202): I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills. http://tfl.nu/w2hv

Replies (6) Good night (1443) Bad night (628)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole

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(201): New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole http://tfl.nu/gxas

Replies (4) Good night (723) Bad night (508)

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