I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
