so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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