he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
