Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
