oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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