You work out of a Hotel?
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
