Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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