No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
