i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
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