I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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