Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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