I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize