I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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