my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
