That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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