soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
should my penis look like a turkey
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
