Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
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