What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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