There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
