I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize