the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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