omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
