why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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