ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
