ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
