I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
