i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
