Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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