Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
