We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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