i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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