tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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