I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Do vagina's smell?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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