You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize