You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
