My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
