This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
