Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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