Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
should my penis look like a turkey
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
