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Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
she was so not down for the gang bang
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
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