I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
