They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that