Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves