Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
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Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
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Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.