i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them