you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
