your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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