Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
