Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
