he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
