girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
